Stop telling Black kids to be “twice as good” as white kids

With all of the messages directed towards students today through social media, television and other online outlets, one of the most problematic lessons Black students hear comes from home.

“Michael, when you get out there [in the workforce], you are going to have to be twice, maybe three times as good as white people.”

My mother told me this the day I turned sixteen. I made my first “C” in school and it made my poor mom worry that I wouldn’t be successful. Imagine the horror of your report card being issued on your birthday! I know! I thought it was a scam too!

Upon hearing my mother’s words I let out a small sigh and almost rolled my eyes but didn’t out of fear of being smacked. I had heard this before. From her, from my barber, from Black teachers I had, coaches, aunts, uncles, basically every Black adult I knew had told me at some point to be twice, no thrice, as good as white people.

The Truth about it all

I remember the first time I felt passed up for an opportunity at work in my adult life. Even though I tried not to show it, I was crushed. My wife could see it on my face, and in my shoulders, and in the way I walked when I got home that day. She knew it.

“I was twice as good and I still got passed by.”

Even though my wife assured me that people saw the work I was putting in I wasn’t convinced.

After about an hour of wallowing, I literally looked at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, stood up straight, and said out loud to myself, “It is freaking on!” In this moment I knew that my co-worker was not the standard of hard work. His work ethic was not something I should compare myself to.

Then I asked myself this question: “Are you happy?”

At that moment something extremely powerful happened for me. I realized that I didn’t have to be twice as good as my white counterparts in the professional world. I realized that my professional and personal goal should be to find happiness. The truth is that I enjoyed my work and the people I worked with. I had found something rare. I had happiness and purpose in the workplace.

Be the best YOU

Once I started working out of gratitude for the happiness I felt in my job, I unlocked a different gear. All of a sudden I was able to see things no one else did in the organization. I was able to solve difficult problems and build important relationships. I became the best version of myself through happiness.

Then I thought back to all those times I heard, “make sure you are twice as good…” and I knew it was no longer true. This message wasn’t valuable for me anymore.

Is it true that the workplace is unfair and unequal? Yes. Is it harder for me to achieve the same success at white counterparts? Yes. Does that suck to think about sometimes? Yes. But by positioning myself to be happy and to become the best version of myself, I can overcome all of those things.

So Black people! Stop telling Black kids to be twice as good as white people! We need to start telling our kids to be the best versions of themselves possible! Your happiness and self-worth should not come by way of comparing yourselves to your counterparts.

Black children, BE HAPPY! Be the best YOU!

Oh by the way, I ended up getting the next promotion in line after I decided to be happy!